It Takes Chemistry
by Snow Peppers
Summary: AU Ishida and Szayel are the smartest kids in their chemistry class. Szayel is a little less than happy when he sees that Ishida has taken his spot as number one in the class, but will malice turn into something else? Yaoi!
1. Prolouge

Szayel Aporro Granz had spent his entire life ignoring other people and working to be the best

Szayel Aporro Granz had spent his entire life ignoring other people and working to be the best. His natural bubblegum pink hair had attracted as much negative attention as possible, and other boys, and girls sometimes, hadn't stopped taunting him and making subtle comments since he was fourteen, and he doubted they would stop. Of course, he personally liked the colour of his hair, and never dyed it. It would be like changing out his glasses from their usual thick white frames for something less noticeable. Many saw him as the fancy boy who wouldn't look twice at anyone. Nobody was interesting enough for Szayel. In high school, he had briefly formed a friendship with a fellow misfit, a Mayuri Kurosutchi, but he was arrested six months after he started school because of his experiments being considered homicide. It was fine, though, Szayel just shrugged it off and continued with his studies, and from then on he started developing a very uncaring exterior. He was attractive enough to have a relationship, if he could pull his head out of his work and even talk to a girl. However, Szayel didn't like girls. He didn't really like men either, but he certainly liked them more than the whiny, emotional creatures that populated half of his classes. 

After a particularly satisfactory weekend (Szayel had finally figured out the formula in the end of chapter six of his advanced textbook) he had forgotten that they had taken a rather important test on Thursday and the results were finally graded. The top twenty were written down on the board, and Szayel immediately looked at the first name. He completely expected it to be his, as usual. 

But it wasn't. Whoever Ishida Uryuu was, Szayel had never remembered him as something special. However, once he thought about it, he recalled the stoic boy, with glasses and a constant frown, sitting in the front and often reading a book before the rest of his classmates joined him. He would have to be polite, and ask how his test score was so high. But he would not, by no means, show any other degree of courtesy to the man. His reputation was spoiled, and he could never get back that single point that he had missed, and Ishida had not.

As usual, he was sitting in the front, reading a novel, which looked rather interesting actually, and ignoring Szayel, until the pink haired man made himself known by clearing his throat. 

'What is it?' He was as unsocial as Szayel himself. It was mildly surprising.

'I wanted to congratulate you on your score. I'm usually first, so it was a surprise. Good job.' Malice dripped from those last two words as Szayel plastered on a wide smile that looked terribly menacing. 

'Maybe you let yourself get sloppy because you expected no competition. It seems like the rest of the class is a collection of simpletons.' 

'We can agree on that. Do you enjoy chemistry?' 

'I do. Science has always been interesting to me. It's my best subject.' 

'Mine as well.' Maybe he wasn't as bad as he'd previously thought, but he would not show signs of a desired friendship unless he did so first. And his appearance did nothing for Szayel. There were plenty of attractive men at the university, but it was what they believed in that would make Szayel curious. 

'We should study together, since you seem to need a little help.' 

'…Indeed.' Bastard. He turned sharply on his heel and sat back down, seething. How insulting to his pride! He would have to think about this another time. The teacher had entered the room. 

Of all his teachers, Aizen Sousuke was his least favorite. He picked obvious favorites in the class; those who weren't even intelligent to begin with, just suck ups, like Ulquiorra Schiffer. He'd heard a few of the girls talking about he would completely shrug off their displays of affection towards him. He was undoubtedly handsome, but in a very cold way. 

Aizen's other obvious favorite was the one he did nothing to, no matter how many times he would interrupt, or make rude comments aloud. Szayel detested Grimmjow Jaegerjacques with a fervent passion, because of his brash, crude ways and his disrespect for everything that involved rules. Women loved him though, drooling over the ground he walked on. He knew that they loved him, and he, in turn, picked the prettiest ones out for a week and then dumped them. If they had any sense of intelligence whatsoever, they would realize his game and stop encouraging him, but once again, the weak minds of his female classmates astounded Szayel as they swooned over his smiles and fought each other for a chance in his bed for just one or two weeks. It was trashy. 

After class, Szayel gathered his materials and headed back to his room (nobody would share a room with him) as usual for a dinner and studying. He was going to try even harder now that he had competition in the class to be number one again. Grimmjow stopped him, though. 

'Heey, Pinky.' Szayel said nothing, and continued on his way. He would not admit that Grimmjow frightened him just a little, not even to himself sometimes. 

'Come back here!' He grabbed the collar of Szayel's long sleeved white shirt and pulled him back. 

'I noticed you weren't on top of Aizen's little list today. Losing your magic touch, eh, fag?'

'It was a miscalculation on my part. Do not try and worry yourself, Grimmjow, it won't happen again.' 

'Hehehe, maybe I should start talking to that Ishida kid. He seems to be smarter at this than you, dumbass.' Szayel didn't say anything else. He merely nodded and walked away, before he was stopped once again by Ishida himself. Joy. 

'Hello.'

'Hello.' What did he want? 

'If you wanted, you could borrow this book. It helped me understand the fundamentals for what we're going to be covering, and if you want to keep up, you would be better off reading it.' He smiled at him, handed Szayel the book, which was surprisingly light, but Szayel was sure it would have very small print, and strode off in the opposite direction where Szayel could only assume was his own dorm. He leafed through the book and found it fascinating. It really could help him with some things, if he started reading it. Fresh material can help you learn better, and it would be a pleasant break from the textbook he'd been working out of recently. He would thank Ishida tomorrow. 


	2. Chapter One

_A/N: More people! This time we look a little more into Ishida, and let me tell you, this was fun to write. Byakuya's occupation was very spur of the moment but I love it as it is. Chad isn't here, because then I would have to write lines for Chad, and I don't think I could get his personality right, even though it seems easy. _

Ishida liked having a few close friends to make him feel a little more human, but he could tell Szayel Aporro did not find this to be true. As cold as he'd been to Szayel (as he usually is to people he'd never met) Szayel was bordering on rude to him. Which is why Ishida decided that since he was obviously so unhappy about the newest test scores, Ishida would act very friendly, much friendlier than normal, towards the other man in hopes that he would show him the same level of courtesy. He was probably very interesting.

He was on his way to the computer lab to finish a paper when a blur of orange hair threw its arms around his neck and hugged him.

'Good afternoon Ishida-kun!' His only female friend, Orihime Inoue, enjoyed sneaking up on him when he was vulnerable, even if she didn't admit it. Because they went to school together, they were very close. He chuckled and masterfully shook her limbs off his shoulders.

'Hello Inoue. How's Kurosaki-kun?' Ichigo Kurosaki had already graduated and was currently training in the police academy. The job was very suited for him, but Orihime was against it. She was afraid he would get hurt, and even though she was studying to be a nurse and he was notorious for being hit in the head repeatedly and being perfectly fine, she thought he was the most fragile thing on earth. Her affection was slightly one-sided, though, because Ichigo's friend, whom Ishida did not know well but seemed to be a nice person, Rukia Kuchiki, the adopted sister of his own physics teacher, Byakuya Kuchiki, seemed to attract all of his attention.

She also attracted the attention of Ishida's roommate, Renji Abarai, who droned on and on to the other man constantly. Ishida felt mildly sorry for Orihime, but it was clear that since she wasn't going to get Ichigo, and Renji wasn't going to get Rukia anytime soon, they could form a bond, and the fact that they hadn't done so yet was irritating.

'Ishida-kun, I found a new recipe, I was wondering if you and Abarai-kun would like to come over and try it?'

'Oh, but Orihime, I already promised Renji that we could have tacos, which is his favorite meal, and he'll be angry if I don't keep my word,' Ishida chuckled regretfully and tried to look something other than relieved. Orihime was a horrible cook, but she cooked a lot, out of cheap ingredients, so she was a wise buyer, she just wasn't good at preparing food.

Renji's favorite food _was_ tacos, but they weren't having them tonight, because if they had tacos, Renji would want fifteen for himself, and it completely exhausted Ishida's small weekly food budget when they went out to eat. Renji liked eating, but his completely physical lifestyle called for it. He was exceptionally good at fencing, soccer and swimming, and was the star of all three teams. In reality, though, he was a pleasant roommate, and Ishida knew he could've been worse off. Speaking of which, as he was talking to Orihime, he spotted the distinctive vibrant red hair coming towards him.

'Hey, Uryuu. Hi there, Inoue.'

'Hello Abarai-kun! Have you seen Kurosaki-kun anywhere? I haven't seen him all day.'

'Ah, he's with Rukia. They're going shopping for a present for Kuchiki's birthday.'

'Ah, I heard he's very strict. It's a good thing we're not in his class, but poor Ishida-kun!'

It was true; Byakuya did not like failure in his class, and was cold towards his students. However, that didn't mean he was a cold person, it was just the way he was raised. They'd seen him smile a little and crack a joke once, and Renji hadn't believed it. Ishida still remembered his face when he told him. Priceless.

'No, he's not that bad once you get used to it. He just expects a little more from his students.'

'No, I heard he was very mean. Emotionless as a board,' Renji stated, as if this was a grave, serious matter. They didn't take his word on things like that often. They asked him for help and were friendly, but they really didn't listen to his opinion.

'Ishida-kun? My blue dress has a tear in it; can you fix it for me sometime soon? It's my favorite one,' Orihime said, looking hopefully at Ishida. He was the captain of the college handicraft's club, and was a marvelous sewer. But, save for the few members and Renji, nobody really knew about this. Occasionally a girl would come up to him and offer him an object with a tear in it, and sometimes they'd pay him a little for his services, but other than that, it wasn't a well-known fact about the quiet man.

'That would be fine Inoue-san. I was wondering when that dress would tear, you wear it often.'

'Thank you Ishida-kun! Ah, it's 5:00 already! I have to get to the library to check out a book, and make dinner. See you tomorrow Ishida-kun, Abarai-kun!' the two roommates waved at her retreating figure.

'You gonna make dinner or what, Uryuu?'

'No, I have to finish this paper, it's due Wednesday-'

'Nonsense, it's only Monday. You can do it tomorrow, I'm starved now.' Ishida sighed and let Renji pull him along. He would have to rush through it now, and he probably couldn't remember all the information he wanted to add. But he would get it done, and it would still probably be the best paper in the class.

After a quickly prepared dinner of rice, Ishida still hungry since Renji had wolfed the entire pot down, Ishida looked for his book but remembered that he had loaned it to Szayel. Ah yes, Szayel Aporro Granz. He had a lot in store for him.

'Renji?'

'Unn?'

'Finish what's in your mouth, moron, and then I'll ask you.' Ishida waited politely for Renji to swallow the mouthful of rice and turn to Ishida.

'Yeah?'

'Do you know a Szayel Aporro Granz?'

'Is he the one with the hair like little Yachiru?' Yachiru was Renji's smaller cousin, who visited often. She was annoying, but when Renji upset his uncle-in-law (his mum had remarried) Yachiru would pay a visit soon after words, unannounced. Her distinguishing feature was her short pink hair, which, now that Ishida thought about it, was similar to Szayel's.

'That's the one.'

'Freak.'

'How do _you_ know that, _Abarai_?'

'Woah. No need to use that tone, _Ishida_. He is. Never talks to anyone, has those gay-ass glasses, and his gay-ass hair. Why?'

'He seems intelligent.'

'Well, yeah, but he's the wrong kind of smart. He was friends with Kurotsuchi, you know.'

'I'm aware of that.' Ishida didn't know that. However, he'd be killed before he admitted that to Renji, who was in his "spiteful for no reason" mood. Ishida hated Mayuri. It was a deep-set hatred. He tried to say it was because of what he did to those people, and that did bother him, but it was a natural dislike for the man when he'd heard about it on the news and such that made him so angry with him.

'Huh. Also, he's not nice to people. He looks down on them all the time. He actually purposefully moves a few steps away from people so he has to physically look down on them sometimes.' So that's why he came over when Ishida was sitting down.

'That's not a big thing. Have you ever held a decent conversation with him?'

'Would I want to? From what I hear, if you get on his good, or even his neutral side, he'll just ramble on about science crap. Have you?'

'No, not yet. But he's very smart. He might be able to help you with your D in all your math classes.'

'Nah, I got you.'

'Sure. You have me.'

_A/N: End of chapter two. I'm going to start to make Szayel more into his talkative self in the next few chapters. He really doesn't feel like Szayel without the useless conversation. If you have an idea or something to add to the story, tell me about it in the review, and I might add it in! I like having build-up before we actually start the yaoi (yes, I sometimes refer to myself as we when I'm writing, does that make me crazy? Yes, I think it does, actually)_

_Revieeeeew!_


	3. Chapter Two

_A/N: I am saddened by the lack of reviews. However, since this is about Szayel, who is still a minor character to Bleach, I'm not fully surprised. LOL, since I'm not in college or anything, I looked chemistry up on wikipedia, and hoped to get something that wasn't completely boring. If you've ever looked chemistry up on wikipedia, let me tell you, nothing is exciting. Not even the pictures, which are sometimes cool. I sound so _stupid_ right now. So, when you see something specific, you can go, 'Oh, I see. She found that on wikipedia.' It can be like a game. This story is still amazingly fun to write though. I'm sure when I get about three more chapters in, and I actually have to develop a relationship, I won't be saying that. I'll be saying, 'Noooo, I wanna write a oneshot with Grimmjow!' Then I'll write like five random yaoi stories. Maybe I'll finally write RenjixIshida. I love RenjixIshida, is that weird? One more thing, you put book titles in italics, right? I couldn't remember whether it was italics or underlining, but I don't like underlined things in a story, so I just made it italicized._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, by Tite Kubo… He does, though, if you didn't catch that._

_I also don't own the idea for what happens, so I'm kind of just a mouthpiece (Thank you very much, TheAngelOfLucifer for the idea which I was too stupid to figure out myself XD)_

The next afternoon in chemistry class started out normally. Szayel had finished the book, but he decided to wait until he figured he would absolutely have to before he gave it back. He didn't want to talk to the other student. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Aizen entered the room, looking overly pleased with himself.

'Hello students.' A meager hello was the response. He beamed at them with that smile that should have been comforting, but wasn't.

'To start the new unit out, I've decided we're going to do something different.' When he saw that everyone was paying attention, he let out a sigh and put his hands behind his back.

'Your next assignment will be in groups.' Szayel's eyes widened in dismay. He hated group work. You would have to make small talk, and Szayel ended up doing all the work in the end, whether he wanted to or not.

'Usually, I let you pick your own groups, because I think it helps you create, but I wanted to try something unusual, so here's who you'll be working with.' He gave a stack of papers to the closest student to hand out, and Szayel looked at his group in horror.

'Szayel Aporro Granz, Ishida Uryuu and Grimmjow Jaegerjacues – Group Eight.' The assignment was relatively easy, and he only had to use two textbooks for reference, but that wasn't the point! Damn it. He looked over to where Grimmjow was sitting and saw him wave and shoot him his signature sadistic and 'I'm gonna fuck you up with joy' look that made the girls call him devious. He sunk lower in his seat and looked to the front row, where Ishida was looking mildly surprised. Ishida turned towards him and shrugged. They kept the stare for another awkward moment before Ishida turned around again.

Szayel was trying to move out of the room quickly, without bumping into any of his new partners. It seemed pointless, though, because Ishida had been waiting for him. Grimmjow had put his attention on a female target not too far off, and was distracted for the moment.

'Hey there.'

'Hello.' Same as yesterday.

'It's not a tough assignment. Aizen probably doesn't want to tax Grimmjow's mind much.' Szayel let out a sharp chuckle and kept walking.

'Yeah. So I was thinking, we, just us, should work on it together. I have a roommate, but he's really not going to bother us.'

'That wouldn't be a problem.' It would, he didn't want to do it, but he hadn't ever had another student in his room since he'd gotten to the school, and there was no reason to make anyone come in now.

'Okay. Come on then.' Szayel started to say something, since he hadn't expected this, but he was stopped by a malicious chuckle and a big, strong hand on his shoulder.

'Hi faggot.' Szayel turned around quickly and looked at Grimmjow, with some redhead girl standing next to him, looking slightly less enthusiastic than most, but still willing.

'Hello Grimmjow.' Ishida turned around as well, looking at Grimmjow before his glare was directed to the girl. He smiled softly.

'Inoue! What are you doing here?'

'Oh, Grimmjow-kun asked me to come with him for a walk, and I remember him from when we were in high school and we had Art together.' Szayel repressed a snicker that would come from Grimmjow in art class.

'Oh, well, okay. Have fun.' Grimmjow brought his gaze back to the two students, showing his canines in a feral smile.

'When are we all gonna work together, as a _group_? I wanna finish early.'

'Not today, we have something planned, but maybe…Friday?'

'All right then. Whatever. C'mon Orihime.' Orihime waved goodbye to Ishida and skipped off with Grimmjow, his hand around her shoulder. Ishida sighed. She did not need this guy. Szayel turned back to him and smiled apologetically.

'I'm terribly sorry. He likes to toy with me.'

'Did you still want to work together today? I have to make dinner, and I can make enough for you, if you'd like.' Usually Szayel denied these kinds of offers. Who knows what you could put in the food? Szayel did. He loved researching poisons and slow killers. It was his favorite topic.

'That would be fine.' Szayel Aporro Granz did not know what he was in for.

'Hey Uryuu! I'm hungry, so can you get started on dinner?' Renji shouted as he burst into the small room and disturbed Szayel and Ishida from their quiet aura of learning. Both sent him a sharp gaze. Renji was used to it from Ishida, but when he saw who Ishida was working with, his mouth dropped open. He sent a questioning look in Ishida's direction, only to receive a stern furrowing of eyebrows in return.

'Hello. I'm Renji Abarai.' He held out his hand for Szayel. Szayel took it cautiously, and shook it lightly, as if his hand were contaminated.

'Er, hello. I'm Szayel Aporro Granz. I take chemistry with Ishida.' Renji grumbled something and turned back to the dark haired boy.

'So, yeah. About dinner. What'cha plannin' for that?'

'Szayel will be joining us, so I thought we would have something cheap. Orihime made soup, and her soup is usually decent.'

'It depends, what kind is it?'

'Just noodles, and it has curry.'

'Hmm…maybe. Is there fruit?'

'Yeah, it's just bits of fruit I think. You can pick it out though and you probably can't taste it. It shouldn't be too bad.'

'It sounds kinda good, but I'm ravenous, so whatever. See what Granz wants.' Suddenly, both pairs of eyes were on him, and he shook his head quickly, putting his hands up.

'I'm fine. I'll eat it. She sounds inventive, and I respect a fellow fan of experiments.' Renji snorted and threw a sweaty shirt on the back of the couch, revealing a map of body art on his tanned chest. Now, Szayel wasn't that kind of gay, the kind that sees an attractive man without a shirt and drools, but he couldn't help staring at the tattoos. He had so many, and they were all over his body, wrapping around him like ink ribbons. He realized he was staring, though, and pulled himself back to his work. They were sitting on the floor, books spread all around them, ranging from simplistic pamphlets on chemical reactions to, what felt like, at least, a fifty-pound textbook on molecular quantum mechanics. Renji glanced over there one more time before turning to the fridge and pulling a soda out, glancing at their work. He picked up _Introduction to Quantum Mechanics with Applications to Chemistry_ and raised his eyebrows at Ishida. It had been a terribly useful resource as they jotted down notes, occasinally sparing a small conversation before Szayel cut it off and returned to his reading. As easily as the two got along, Szayel still wasn't sure he liked Ishida for more then a fellow chemist. He looked up when he heard a loud bang and a groan to see Renji had just dropped the textbook in Ishida's lap, from it's lofty position of five feet. Ishida moved the book and yelled a few expletives at Renji before turning to Szayel.

'Renji is hungry.'

'He's like an animal, does he always try to get your attention like that?' Ishida laughed and opened the book to the chapter that covered their research topic, but Renji merely scowled at Szayel.

'Hmph. Whatever. What're you doing?' He crouched down and looked over Szayel's shoulder, studying his neat cursive notes and the small text on the page he was reading. His head was less than an inch away from Szayel's head, and as soon as Szayel noticed, he leaned back and smirked at Renji.

'Sorry, but you're not my type.' Renji grinned like a feral animal and stood up.

'Heh. Whatever you say, Scientist.' Szayel didn't take offense. Tricking him into saying something like that had been a trick of other student's for a while. In fact, that's how Szayel lost his virginity. His aversion to social interaction had good reasoning behind it, but Ishida was just trying to befriend the pink-haired young man. He was smart, and could be just as sarcastic as Ishida on an intellectual level, not like Renji's comments. His new favorite was "your face" so Ishida desperately needed a being at his level to converse with. And, as only Orihime knew, Ishida _was_ gay, and if Renji wasn't Szayel's type, maybe Ishida could be.

'We can have dinner now, if you think it would quiet your roommate.' Ishida heard Szayel state nonchalantly.

'Really? That would certainly quiet things down. I'll warm the soup up. Renji, set the table.'

'Why me?'

'Because he's a guest, you imbecile.' Szayel laughed. Dinner sounded fine, even with someone like Renji.

_A/N: OMK (oh mah kami), this is longer than I think I usually write. My units of measurement make it painfully obvious that I'm American. I think I was trying to pass for English for a while back, and now I can't because I said inches in reference to distance and pounds in reference to weight. Blast. And yes, there actually is a chemistry textbook that has that super-huge name, I asked my mum. I tried to go for a poetic thing in there, since I don't think anyone's referred to Renji's tattoos as ribbons, at least not in RenIchi or RenIshi. That's, like, the only Renji yaoi I read. Not so much into the RenBya thing, except sometimes. My Author Notes are longer than my story XD. Next time, we have dinner with the triangle of freaks._


	4. Chapter Three

_A/N: Dinner tiem? Yes indeed. Chapter Four may possibly include Ilforte, or it may possibly include Grimmjow beating up Szayel. If you know anything about how I write, though, it will probably be the former, because I suck terribly at describing physical pain and fighting. But I'm very good at crazy, weird, random writing, and I'm gonna make Ilforte really, really gay, so I can't wait to write that. In fact, I'm still deciding on Ilforte's proffesion, but it will probably either be a hair stylist, male model (but then Szayel and Ilforte would be rich, and that might be hard to write since I already have no idea how to write rich people, since I've tried OHSHC before) Thanks for the reviews, by the way, this story is slowly gaining popularity, one review at a time XD. And sometime or another, we'll meet Renji's swim coach >:D which will be fun. But dun worry, those are not big spoilers. I'm not laying out the entire story for you in this note. If you didn't know, by the way, there will be amazing smexy Ishida/Szayel about chapter five or six, nothing bad, but there will be mansmex eventually (the rating will go up, as I stated in the summary) . By the way, you do not have to read everything Szayel says, but you only have to know that it was pretty nasty. _

_Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. I own a Grimmjow alarm clock, though. I bought it on eBay, cuz eBay rules. _

After Renji had grudgingly set the table, almost forgetting a place for Szayel, until Ishida flicked his hand and pointed to the empty spot. Ishida took the soup out of the tiny refridgerator and put it in the microwave.

'HeyUryuu, guess what?'

'What Renji?'

'Rukia was with Ichigo today when they stopped by, you were still in class, and Rukia was like 'Hey Renji.' It was awesome, and I made her tea and accidentally forgot Ichigo, but then I remembered and Ichigo was all 'Dude, what the hell' and I was like 'Sorry man' but it's okay, cuz even though Ichigo's a cop and all, I have my tight athletic abilities.' Szayel and Ishida stared at him in horror. Finally, Szayel spoke, fake confusion intermixing skillfully with sarcasm.

'I'm sorry, I don't speak that. Could you say it in Japanese now?' Renji scowled and turned away, half-hurt, half-mumbling about how gay he was. Ishida smiled at him though. Szayel felt a little more comfortable, and worried he would start doing "the thing". His older brother Ilforte had come up with the name, and since Szayel couldn't think of a possible scientific name, it had remained "The Thing". Ilforte had it too, but he did it to anyone, and it wasn't as severe. Whenever Szayel got even the slightest bit friendly with anyone, he couldn't stop talking. He tried to control it, but soon as someone would show any measure of friendship to him, he would start yapping about butterflies, or panthers or some other strange topic. "The Thing" was evil, but luckily, there were people who could handle it. He doubted Renji could even stand it for more than a few minutes, but in high school, he had met a quiet girl named Halibel who just listened to him all day while he rambled about things, the conversation starting at 'Oh, I see you got the chicken,' and ending in Szayel explaining a paradox he had read about online. It wasn't his fault, he just assumed everyone thought what he had to say was really interesting, and all the information he found in books and on websites was as intruiging as he thought it was. So when Ishida sat down across from him, Renji beside him, he had to bite on his lip not to burst into a rant about anthropology.

'So, Szayel, what do you like to study most?' Renji groaned and dove headfirst into his soup, slurping it down as quickly as possible while taking the fruit out of his mouth. Oh God, here it came. It was like Ishida was asking, "talk until your throat is sore, Szayel." So he thought of what came to mind. And didn't stop.

'Well, you see, I'm interested in poisons, which is something that caught my eye, but before that I liked zoology and entomology, but when I was in middle school I mixed bleach and rat poison together to see what would happen and fed it to my hamster. Needless to say, that wasn't good, and ever since then I've been interested in poisons.

Have you ever tried voodoo? It's quite fun, I read a book about it once, and now I make voodoo dolls when I'm bored, because I have some basic sewing knowledge, so I don't have to tell you that they're not very well-done. My brother took one home. My brother, Ilforte, is horrible. He has no shame, always flirting with my old roommate, Nnoitra, and his friend Tesla, before he left with some green-haired girl, and sometimes he comes here. He says Grimmjow Jaegerjacques is hot, but he's also a jackass, which I said, but he didn't believe me,

'Are you aware that blood can be used as a lubricant for many different purposes? Not the kind you're probably thinking of, _Renji_, but you can use it as grease or to melt ice. I did some experiments this winter involving blood a lot. Another thing you should probably know is that your friend Orihime didn't use curry in this, but I think a Western spice that tastes like curry, but I can never remember it's name, because it tastes like curry so I always assume it's curry until I taste it on the tip of my tongue, because I have extremely sensitive tastebuds there. See, right heah, whay I'm poyntin? I was reading a book one time about how your tastebuds work, but it was extremely dull. But the human body in general is fascinating, isn't it? Have you ever dissected a human? I bought one that was donated to science one time and dissected it at home, and Ilforte got all pissy because I got body fluids on his countertop. And did you know that people in the 1700's used to think that dead bodies were vampires sometimes because people would dig them up again after they buried them and see blood on their lips, but it's only because your body has leftover blood and there's pressure on your torso, and since you're decomposing, and there's gasses that make you look "well-fed" so people were real idiots back then. If you had the pnuemonic black plague then you also looked vampiric, because you were very pale and blood would linger on your lips, and also if you had tuberculosis, like Professor Ukitake, that art teacher. The pnuemonic black plague actually had a higher death rate than the bubonic plague, because your lung tissue would basically rot and-'

'Excuse me, Granz, while I throw up now,' Renji interrupted loudly, slamming his bowl on the table. Szayel blinked and slumped in his seat, looking depressed.

'That, Szayel, is what some call, for lack of a better phrase, "diarrhea of the mouth", and it's okay, but that was just very long and very detailed,' Ishida smiled at Szayel, who tried to smile back really, but Renji merely looked at his soup as if it was the devil.

'I'm not hungry any more.' Ishida stared at Renji, uncomprehending.

'What, is there something on my face, Uryuu?'

'Szayel, call an excorsist.'

'No, don't let Szayel use my cellphone. And why do we need an excorsist?'

'Are you afraid of the gay germs, Renji? And why _do_ I need to call an excorsist, Ishida?'

'That is the first time he has refused a meal, that wasn't Orihime's, since I've known him.' Renji pushed Ishida over and laughed. Szayel rubbed his lower lip self-consciously. He hoped everything would still be okay between Ishida and him. He didn't give a damn about Renji, Renji could go die, but Ishida would make a good friend, and he was smart and handsome. Szayel shook his head and cleared his thoughts. Ishida could be his friend, but that was it. Who knows what would happen if he even considered anything more?

_A/N: Bwhahahaha, I made Szayel totally unhappy. I know he doesn't usually talk in that long of a period of time, but I needed to make his character similar to real Szayel's but still have some of his own qualities, and I do that sometimes too, except not as bad, so I put it in there. Poor Szayel. By the way, I knew all that about vampires and the Black Plague. I love bubonic plague, it's my favorite disease (I have a favorite disease, what about it?)_

_Next time, maybe Ilforte. Or maybe not._


	5. Chapter Four

_A/N: I wrote this piece of work at school. Once you read it, you will realize how bad that is. Ilforte's profession has been decided, finally, and he will be starring in the next two chapters, mostly in this one, and not so much in the other one. The actual romantic part, you know, what the story is about, starts now, since their relationship is developing faster than I thought. So that means the real lemony yaoi parts will show up quicker (good for you, bad for me). I am planning angry sex, but like all my ideas, it is not definite. I'll probably start and think, 'No, I want Ishida and Szayel to be nice.' That probably won't happen. Szayel won't be nice in bed. I feel like I'm talking to myself in these things. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, by Tite Kubo (Someday I'll write something amusing for a disclaimer, you'll see)_

Szayel had decided, after his little rant about everything, that Ishida must feel the exact same way as Renji, because everyone except Halibel (who ended up moving later anyway) felt that way, so why wouldn't Ishida? He spent the time in chemistry class the next day brooding, a menacing frown etched onto his face. Even Grimmjow knew enough to stay away from him today, but he would probably taunt him for twice as long tomorrow. Ishida spared a glance at him, but upon seeing the scowl that was, in Ishida's opinion, more of a cute pout, he had turned back towards Professor Aizen and scribbled more notes down on his paper.

However, that was two hours ago. Now, Szayel was sitting at his desk, copying problems out of his section five review (the one he had missed the question on in the test) and answering them, one after the other. Soon, all fifty-nine would be complete. He was just about to grab a textbook from his shelf above his bed when he heard a sharp, quick knock at his door. It stopped him in his tracks. Nobody ever, _ever_, visited his room. He briefly considered that it could be Ishida, but scoffed at himself, for even considering such fairy-tale-ish thoughts. But he went to open the door anyway. What was the worst thing that could happen?

Upon opening the door, however, he was faced with something far worse than he could have imagined. Ilforte, standing there in his blatantly gay glory, with his naturally blond hair, tanned skin and smiling with straight white teeth (Szayel had weird canines, and he always resented Ilforte for not having the same problem) and seriously considered shutting the door right there. Ilforte was holding a bouquet of flowers, thrust them into Szayel's arms, and threw his own long limbs around his brother's shoulders.

'Surprise!'

'Get off me.'

'Hmph. No need to be so rude, little brother.' Ilforte let himself in, looking around the flat with interest and running his hands along the bed, desk and countertop.

'Wow, you sure do keep it clean, don't you? What's with the face, Szayel, aren't you happy to see your older brother? Come on, I came all the way down to your dull little school just to see you!' Szayel sighed, pushing his glasses further up his nose, while Ilforte continued.

'You know, this is a lot neater than you used to keep my flat. Remember how you always brought dead stuff in? Do you still do that, because if you do, I wanna know how you get the blood out of your nice clothes. Have you stopped wearing white yet? For someone with such an interest in chemistry, you should wear clothes that don't show stains as well,' Szayel groaned as Ilforte pranced about the room. He opened the small fridge in the kitchen area and rifled through his things. Szayel didn't buy a lot with a low food budget, mostly instant noodles and water. Cheap stuff. Ilforte pulled out a bottle of water and shut the fridge door with his hip.

'Soooo, anything besides school?'

'No, nothing else, it's all been pretty normal for me.' Ilforte nodded but stopped when he heard a knock on the door. Szayel froze and looked at the door. This was indeed an extraordinary day, when Szayel Aporro Granz had not one, but two guests in his living area, at the same time. He wondered who this could possibly be. His curiosity, and his logical assumption that if he didn't get the door, Ilforte would, got the better of him, and he decided to open the door, albeit cautiously, and he saw his fellow classmate and possibly still his friend, Ishida Uryuu, staring back at him. Ilforte pushed him aside and smiled at Ishida in his most charming way.

'Hello there. I'm Ilforte Granz. Who are you?' He leaned one arm against the doorframe and put the other hand on his hip, smiling at Ishida.

'Er…I'm Ishida Uryuu, a friend of Szayel. Are you his older brother?'

'You've heard of me! I knew he must talk about something besides science to someone. Come in, come in, tell me, how does Szayel act when I'm not around?' Szayel was fuming silently in the background, watching Ilforte throw himself all over Ishida with shamelessness that Szayel had previously thought impossible without actually removing any clothing. Which was another thing Ilforte was apparently good at, given his career choice. Ishida was handling it all very well, something Szayel respected in a person who was faced with the full Ilforte effect, only looking slightly bewildered. Szayel was sipping on a glass of water, watching Ilforte talk way too close to Ishida, when suddenly Ilforte told him to wait there and darted across the room to Szayel, whispering in his ear.

'Ooh, he is _cute_. You did not tell me about him. Good choice, bet he rocks in bed, huh? Why didn't you _call me_? You should've called me. I wanna hear about what he's like-'

'Shut _up_, Ilforte! Ishida is a friend, nothing more.' Ishida looked their way at the mention of his name.

'Ilforte needs to go home now, I think,' Szayel said through gritted teeth, nudging Ilforte towards the door. Ishida looked relieved, which was natural for any person, and it made Szayel happy. Many people preferred talking to his brother over himself because Szayel was rather insulting and Ilforte was much happier talking to anyone.

'You know, it is time I get to work. I should leave you two _alone_.' Szayel felt himself flush, and prayed that Ilforte wouldn't involve "work" anytime soon with Ishida and himself.

'Oh, really, what do you do?' It was only a matter of time before Ilforte had Ishida running away, and not coming back, now. Ilforte giggled and crossed his arms.

'Alright, I'll tell you, but promise you won't tell. I don't usually tell Szayel's few friends, because he says they don't want to hear.' Ishida paled a little, but nodded.

'Alright, I won't tell.' Ilforte smiled scarily.

'I'm a male stripper.' Szayel moaned in anguish behind the blond man and Ishida merely blinked before blushing prfousely.

'ILFORTE! Out, _now.'_ Szayel shoved Ilforte out roughly and shut the door in his face. He locked it, in case he tried getting back in (which was a distinct possibility).

'Ishida, I am sorry, really I am.' Ishida shook his head and tried to remain calm.

'No, no, it's…it's fine. He's…I don't want to say normal, so I will say he's amusing. But luckily, you are nothing like your brother.' Szayel smiled, a faint blush on his cheek. That was a major compliment for him.

'You're really interesting, and you're intelligent, and I like talking to you, Szayel.'

'Y-you do?' Nobody liked talking to the gay scientist, but Szayel believed him somehow. His blush became a little more obvious. Szayel looked at Ishida, a twinkling in his bright amber eyes. Ishida leaned in a little farther, still keeping eye contact with Szayel. The thought that they might possibly kiss had only just worked itself into Szayel's mind, though, and he had started to leand towards Ishida as well, feeling Ishida put his hands on Szayel's shoulders, expecting something awkward and terrible, although genuine maybe, but instead, he was faced with a squeal of delight. Ilforte had found the spare key.

'I knew it!! You can't keep your secrets from me, brother! I'll be back, and next time, I will not take any of that "we're just friends" crap! Oh, Szayel, you lucky, lucky, bastard,' Ilforte cried, pointing at the two men.

'Ilforte, for the love of all that is holy, leave, _now_ or I will tell Mum that you quit your job as a secretary!' Ilforte looked afraid.

'You're bluffing.'

'No, I am not. I hate you, now go!' Ilforte sighed, and rolled his eyes, but left all the same, shutting the door behind him. He noticed then, that Ishida had broken contact with him, his arms at his sides, hanging limply and looking awkward.

'Ummm…' The feeling was mutual. What do you say after your male stripper brother walks in on you almost kissing your first friend in a long time? Szayel had never faced the situation, and neither had Ishida, thankfully. But Szayel wanted that kiss, he wanted it bad. He had never been kissed in a good way, and wanted to see what it was like. His curiousity was ever-present, and he looked at Ishida as to say "we're finishing this now. I mean it."

Ishida just grinned and wrapped his arms around Szayel's neck, pressing his forehead against Szayels. Szayel responded by taking his mouth hungrily, trying to get the sensation down in his mind forever, as his tongue collided with Ishida's roughly, fighting for dominance, hot and passionate and everything Szayel had never experienced. He investigated Ishida's mouth, mapping in his mind all the spots that he knew he had in his own mouth, but were different (it wasn't his mouth) and resisting the urge to groan at the warmth. Szayel laced his fingers through Ishida's hair, not knowing where else to put his other hand, which was just resting on Ishida's upper torso. Szayel moaned, not able to contain his pleasure any longer, into the dark-haired man's mouth, feeling his tongue explore his own mouth and loving the sensation. He made a mental note. Ishida smirked into Szayel's mouth, kissing his lips softly once more before removing his limbs and smiling at Szayel. It scared Szayel. Was he going to leave now, saying, "thanks for that, freak" like so many other times? But he didn't. He took Szayel's hand and grinned assuredly.

'You're brilliant, Szayel. I mean that.' Szayel felt Ishida embrace him, his head buried in the crook of his neck, and Szayel felt a bittersweet ecstasy and fright tangle through his emotions. He looked at Ishida, still hugging him close, and put his arms, finally, around his waist. He could do this. He might not be good at it, just yet, since eventually he was good at everything, even love, probably.

_A/N: Cheesy ending!! Cheesy scene. I needed to write that kiss scene, it was in my head forever, even the Ilforte part. I hope it's not rushed. I bet it's rushed. If it was rushed, tell me! Can you tell I'm paranoid about kissing and sex scenes?_


	6. Chapter Five

_A/N: Wow, Chapter Five. Here we go, now I can't just write my story on badly written humor alone. I was bored in math class (I will do anything not to do math in math class) and I made a list of things that will be happening. Soon, very, very soon, we will see an entire chapter devoted to smexy lemon; which I keep saying, I know, more to convince myself than my readers. If I write it enough, I'll have a sort of promise made up, and I can't go back on it._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, by Tite Kubo._

For three days, Ishida and Szayel had maintained a cold student-student relationship in class. Szayel was fine with it, he still got to see him and go on dates with him afterwords, but Ishida was apparently lacking any sense of shame at all today, as he moved from his usual spot to one of the many empty spots next to Szayel. It wasn't a bad thing, but when Ishida smiled at him cockily and said 'Hello' in that voice, he was sure someone would notice. And someone did.

'What'cha doing? Conspiring without me?' Grimmjow called from behind Szayel.

'No, Grimmjow, I was just helping Szayel with his notes. He didn't get to study last night because his brother came to visit him, as he told me.'

'Oh…how far along is the project I am helping you with?'

'We're done.'

'Good. I'm glad I got to help.' With that, he turned his attention back to his fellow enthusiast in violence, Kenpachi Zaraki, who towered over the other students. Szayel narrowed his eyes, but was relieved at how detached Grimmjow had been lately. It was like he had something keeping him from being, well, Grimmjow.

'No, I didn't get to study last night because you took me to dinner and we ended up staying until 11:00. Ilforte just called me and chattered for an hour about your hair.'

'I wanted to come back with you.'

'I know, and I told you, if I can ace this test, that can be a possibility. Should you be sitting here anyway? I might get distracted in the middle of the test, or something,' Szayel snapped. Ishida merely got out a mechanical pencil and ignored the malice in his voice.

'Just because you don't like to socialize, Szayel-kun, does not mean that I do not. Besides, I worked a four-hour conversation out of you, and you talked the most. By the way, if I get a lower score than you, I promise we can put it off until next week, when our project is due.' It wasn't as if Szayel was nervous, anything but. He just wasn't sure if Ishida was ready. He had done his research, and it all sounded like Szayel fell into the "kinky" category. He wanted to record every sound, taste and feeling. He'd been on bottom once in his life, and it was humiliating. No, that was not going to happen again. As Aizen explained to them once more, what was going on this test, and why they were taking it (the average test scores weren't very high for the last test, and Aizen had been "disappointed") before he passed them out, the stack of papers looking official and crisp. He made another student pass them out, as always, and waited until everyone had a copy.

'You may begin. Once you are finished, you may leave.' Szayel took his work seriously, as usual, and he knew the problems like the back of his own hand. He did the work in his chicken-scratch handwriting; it flowed easily from his pencil, as if it was a natural instinct. He finished only a minute or two before Ishida, handing in his paper and leaving with the other student to have lunch and go to an art museum Ishida had pointed out last night.

'Do you think I did better?' Once they were off campus, and walking down the street like normal people, Ishida laced his fingers with Szayel's.

'On the test? No. I knew that material better than I know my own parents, Ishida, dear.'

'Huh. Well, we'll see on Friday, then, won't we?' That was all they spoke of it, but Szayel and Ishida both wondered inside about the results. They enjoyed their date all the same, though. Szayel liked art, but Ishida seemed to be enamored with it, pointing out his favorite artists and paintings as they passed them. After a while, Szayel's stomach began to growl and he realized they had forgotten lunch. If they didn't get it now, they couldn't get back in time for Ishida to cook Renji dinner (something which Szayel realized quickly would be another part of their constricting time schedule together) and for Szayel to finish his research on "love", for Friday night, just in case.

* * *

Szayel felt like the next two days flew by faster than they should have, as he approached his chemistry class on Friday, Ishida on his left, not saying anything. For once in his life, Szayel Aporro was unsure whether he wanted to be first on the list this time.

As expected, the test results were written in green dry erase marker for all the class to see. Aizen had neat, but small handwriting, so they couldn't see the top two. Once they had put their things down and made their way to the front to see the results, Szayel bit his lip.

_Szayel Aporro Granz – 101_

_Ishida Uryuu – 100_

_Nanao Ise – 99.5_

Ishida smiled warmly at Szayel.

'Haha, looks like I win, Szayel-kun.'

'It seems as if you have.'

'How did you get over a hundred percent?'

'I explained that one of the problems was obsolete, and replaced it with a better one, which I then solved,' Szayel stated very matter-of-factly. Ishida just shrugged and took his seat, listening intently to what Aizen was saying. Szayel, however, was not. He was looking forward to tonight, no matter how he tried to hide it. The mere thought of Ishida, submitting to his very will, set his blood on fire, and no matter how hard he tried, chemistry just wasn't as interesting.

After class, Ishida discussed something important with Szayel, who had actually considered it, but dismissed it as not necessary.

'Are we going to tell Renji?'

'No,' Szayel replied instantly.

'Why? He's going to want to know why I keep not coming home.'

'Just tell him you have a girlfriend.'

'I can't do that; he'd want to meet her. Can't I just introduce you?'

'No, Renji is far too unintelligent to trust him.'

'He's my friend you know!' Ishida had stopped walking, his brows furrowed deep in frustration. Szayel stopped as well, a few feet in front of Ishida. Szayel remained emotionless.

'I don't care. It's true, he's not worth my time, and I personally think he's not worth yours either.' He shrugged, and started walking again, surprised when Ishida didn't follow him.

'Ishida? I was going to go-'

'No, save it! I have a better idea, you bastard.' Szayel looked intrigued. It was a part of Ishida he hadn't seen. Ishida grabbed his shirt collar and growled.

'Ishida, what are you doing?' Before Szayel could say anything about how they were in a public place, Ishida attacked his mouth, rage pouring into the kiss, and a passion that Szayel was unfamiliar with from Ishida. Szayel broke away quickly and snarled in peaked interest. If this is what Ishida wanted, he would show him something spectacular. Ishida pulled him into his flat and closed the door behind him. Szayel sat on Ishida's bed, a predatory gleam in his eye that scared Ishida, only a little, as he walked across the room, the indignant look still plastered upon Ishida's face.

_A/N: Oh yeah, they're gonna do it. I swear if I chicken out, there will be some stupid thing that will totally happen involving Renji. That's how you will know._


	7. Chapter Six

_Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, by Tite Kubo._

Szayel felt his mouth turn into a twisted smirk as Ishida pushed Szayel against the small bed, and straddled his hips. Szayel was still grinning at Ishida, who received it as a challenge, so Ishida pressed his body against Szayel. Szayel wrapped his arms around Ishida and pulled him so Ishida could feel his breath hot on his neck.

'Ishida, are you sure you're ready for this?' Szayel gazed at Ishida, his sparkling reddish eyes meeting Ishida's devious blue ones.

'Why the hell wouldn't I be ready for this?' Szayel raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as he removed Ishida' glasses slowly, setting them on the table and taking off his own. Although everything was now slightly blurry, he could make out the angry form of Ishida Uryuu easily.

While Ishida looked surprised at such a subtle gesture, Szayel took the weakness of the moment to start attacking Ishida's neck, which had been a favorite place of his for some time now, sucking at his shoulder and moving upward. Ishida looked offended for only a moment before lacing his hands through pink hair, and tugging at it. The pain was minimal, and it made Szayel even more aroused. He nipped playfully at Ishida's earlobe in return. The dark-haired man unbuttoned Szayel's shirt quickly, pushing it off his body and drinking in his half-naked form. Szayel stopped him from doing anything else; instead o letting his hands undress him, Szayel made Ishida's hands wind through his hair again as he caressed the man's face, letting his fingers trail downward to the collar of Ishida's crisp green shirt. Szayel unbuttoned each button slowly, exploring every new inch of skin he uncovered, and listened to Ishida groan in anticipation. Already, he could feel Ishida's hardness. He dipped his tongue into Ishida's navel, and received a breathy moan of gratitude. Szayel ran his hands along Ishida's lean body, beaming with self-confidence at the thought that this body, this boy was his. Nobody would take him away, and as he marked his new conquest with bites and scratches, he felt even more elated to be there with him.

Szayel removed Ishida's belt with precision and stretched it out in front of him, to check the length. He tossed it aside, disappointed. It wasn't long enough to serve as a tool, but he would find something that was. He glanced, then, at Ishida's tie, which he had neglected to remove because he'd wanted to see Ishida naked with the tie on, but it would be needed for personal use. He undid the tie with minimal difficulties, and stretched it out, in the same way he did the belt. It would work, and he smiled cruelly at Ishida.

'Give me your wrists.' Ishida shrunk back, shaking his head.

'No, no way.' Szayel's grin quickly turned more malicious as he licked his lips and forcefully grabbed both wrists, tying the tie securely around them and smiling in a feral way. Ishida looked at his hands, disgusted, and back at Szayel.

'Don't worry, Ishida, I'll make it enjoyable for you,' Szayel cooed, tying the other end of the tie to the headboard, which had a metal frame. Ishida looked now at his position, sighing in defeat. Szayel resumed playing with Ishida's body, toying with his right nipple. He twisted it experimentally, hearing Ishida half-moan, half-protest at the treatment. He wondered how Ishida would react to biting. In curiosity, he bit down on Ishida's nipple, dragging out a loud groan of frustration from his partner. Szayel smiled and moved to the other nipple, repeating the same process, but with more force.

'Oh God, you bastard, you are dead when this is over, I-,' Ishida warned, as Szayel rubbed the soft nub of skin delicately before biting down again. A strangled moan cut off the rest of Ishida's loud, empty words. Szayel moved down further, past his navel, and pulled Ishida' zipper down slowly, making his hands brush over his erection lightly. Ishida threw his head back, trying to resist the bonds, but realized that Szayel was extremely skilled in tying knots.

'Gah, Sz-Szayel, hurry up,' Ishida panted. Szayel let out a sigh and removed Ishida's pants, throwing them carelessly onto the floor; he did the same with Ishida's boxers, leaving poor Ishida at a disadvantage. Szayel was still wearing his pants, and his shirt was merely unbuttoned. Szayel shrugged his shirt off, and slowly undressed the rest of his body, not taking very much time to appear alluring. He kept his pants in one hand, fishing in the pocket for something. He smiled when his hand groped a small tube. He pulled it out

'What's that?' Ishida could only see the lid, and he wanted to make sure it wasn't painful.

'It's lubricant. I assume you want me to prepare you?' Ishida nodded vigorously. Szayel squeezed some of the gel into his hand, coating his fingers. He didn't even look at Ishida as he thrust his index finger in his tight opening, feeling the white-hot heat envelope his digit. He slowly added his other finger, and began scissoring to widen the opening for penetration. Ishida gasped in shock, clawing at the headboard. Szayel smirked, removing his fingers gingerly and positioning his manhood at Ishida's entrance. He looked at Ishida, who was panting. A light sheen of sweat made his body even more attractive to Szayel.

After that moment of hesitation, Szayel made up his mind and thrust deep inside Ishida, who cried out in pain, toes curling at the sharp, new pain. Szayel quickly picked up a rhythm, thrusting right into Ishida's prostate and making Ishida's mind swirl with pleasure. Soon, Ishida's body was moving with Szayel's, and the pink-haired man began pumping Ishida's member in time with the thrusts. Ishida's moans had become more constant as Szayel continued to shove his manhood into Ishida. Ishida's small twin-size bed squeaked as Szayel pounded into Ishida, feeling his release come closer and closer. Ishida came first, his seed spilling over both men's stomachs, and after a few hard, heavy thrusts, Szayel came as well, releasing inside Ishida and moaning Ishida's name passionately. Both men spent the next few minutes catching their breath before Ishida pulled at the restraints, trying to get Szayel's attention. He chuckled, untying the knots with admirable skill. After much moving around, both men found a position they could be comfortable in with the limited space, and quickly fell asleep, forgetting completely that the room was shared by another individual, who would return from soccer practice at any minute.

_A/N: OMG, yeah, Renji scene next time. I wrote that entire scene in four hours, while my sister took a nap XD and while I listened to the Bleach Beat Collection (my favorite song is Aesthetics and Identity, which Ishida and Ichigo sing together) and put my very well being into this chapter. So, if it's terrible, please tell me! I decided that I wouldn't put an author's note at the top, just because it could add to the drama. Now that I have written this, we will have another stop in Bad Humour Land and then will move on to Conflicts in the Relationship Land._

_I had originally planned a ton of dialouge during sex for those two, involving dirty talk and the works, but the part of my brain that likes to edit things decided it would be too corny, so we're left with almost no talking in this chapter...is the sex rushed?_


	8. Chapter Seven

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, they were much appreciated. Unfortunately, for my dear audience, I will need more practice, and I will try again later. I don't think any time soon, but maybe, you know, after some conflict. In the meantime, let's have fun with Renji._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, by Tite Kubo._

Renji was in a very angry, tired and hungry. His soccer coach, Yumichika, had gotten mad at him for talking back, and Renji had been required to stay after practice to do extra work and talk to the flamboyant man. It wasn't that he didn't like Yumichika, no, he was all right, but he was just so…gay. Renji had an aversion to gay people, even if he didn't realize it. So as he drug himself back to his flat, where he expected Ishida to be cooking some delicious dinner, and hopefully not talking to the pink-haired freak, who was a scary individual indeed. Afterwords, he would consider getting smashed with Shuuhei and Rangiku, whom had both already graduated, and then maybe come home at 1:00, waking up Ishida and making him really pissed off. He dug through his pockets for his key, which he found with relative ease, and opened the door, surprised to see the lights off and the smell of food not drifting in from the kitchen area. He hoped Ishida wasn't sick, that would suck, he wasn't good at taking care of himself. He crept in silently, and set his stuff on the ground, turning to Ishida's small bedroom, which was just a bed, with two extra walls around it to give the user a degree of privacy. Peeking in, in case he was asleep, Renji looked at Ishida's bed. An embarrassed blush worked its way through his cheeks as he saw Ishida and some other person, asleep in Ishida's bed. He couldn't properly make the other person out, without getting closer, and Ishida was a delicate sleeper, as he had learned many times during the night. The other person had their arm wrapped protectively around Ishida's waist, but that was all Renji could see. Blush still raging on his face, he backed out of the room slowly, and sighed. He had always assumed that he would be the first one to bring a girl home (Rukia would be nice, God) but Ishida beat him to it. On the other hand, maybe he didn't...Is Ishida gay? Renji hoped not. Living with him for so long would seem a lot less normal, and a lot gayer. He quickly pulled a piece of paper out of Ishida's spiral notebook, lying on the counter, and a pencil. He scribbled a note down in relatively good handwriting and put it where Ishida could see it. He may be fascinated with Ishida's bedmate, yes, but he was going to get some sleep, or Ishida would know a personal Renji-inflicted hell. He took his bag, and walked sluggishly towards his own sleeping quarters, not even bothering to remove his clothes before he fell asleep in his own cozy bed.

Ishida and Szayel woke up early the next day. Ishida offered to make Szayel breakfast, and although Szayel felt terribly uncomfortable with the whole situation, he accepted gratefully. He found Renji's note first, reading it while Ishida cooked.

'Renji wrote you a note.'

'Huh? Oh, read it out loud, I'm busy.' Szayel shrugged, pushing up his glasses before reading, a habit he'd developed over the years.

'Dear Uryuu,

I woke up at about 11:00, really hungry, so I might have eaten all the eggs, I'm not sure, it was either all the eggs, or the leftover soup. And yes, I know that was a huge contayner, you do not have to tell me. By the way, I hope it's a girl. And if it's not a girl, can it at least be a really cool guy? Like, Ichigo or something? He looked too thin to be Ichigo, but I can hope. I want to meet him/her/it? When I wake up. If it is a girl, please let it not be Orihime, cuz I'm still decieding if I wanna go out with her, and ain't she going out with Jaegerjacques anyway? I dunno. From Renji,' Szayel concluded. Ishida turned, his eyebrows raised.

'It's not his fault he's not the most intelligent person on Earth.'

'He spelled container wrong. And deciding,' Szayel pointed to the words on the paper.

'He never was good with spelling. He's pretty good at sports, and poetry, strangely enough, but spelling is not his strong point, and neither is math.'

'Which are both vital for a career in basically anything.' Ishida shrugged. From inside his room, they heard Renji cough lightly.

'It's almost seven. We should wake him up soon,' Ishida said, putting the eggs on the table and taking the note out of Szayel's hands. Ishida threw it in the trashcan and heard a groan. He looked at Renji's door, seeing it now open, and a half naked Renji changing in the middle of the room.

'Renji, close the damn door!'

'Wha?! Oh…sorry, Uryuu.' Renji shuffled to the door and shut it, before they heard a loud banging noise.

'Renji trips on things in the morning.'

'But isn't he more graceful, if he's so good at physical activities?'

'You would think, but truthfully-' Ishida was cut off by the sluggish steps of Renji, dressed in his favorite white robe with pink flowers. Ishida repressed a horrified look as he looked at Ishida, who had actually already dressed.

'Heh. So, where is she?' Ishida glared at Renji, who was standing three feet away from Szayel.

'What? You're doing the angry look.'

'Renji, as much as I don't want to see your reaction to this, he is sitting right there. Next to you.'

'H-he?' Renji looked afraid, and refused to look to his right to confirm his fears. Ishida sighed.

'I have to use the bathroom.'

'That's a poor excuse, Uryuu!' Renji called to him, as Ishida hurried into the bathroom to wait out Renji's initial shock.

Szayel, on the other hand, feared for his life. Renji seemed rather violent. He tapped him on the shoulder, to make his prescience known. Although Renji didn't want to, it was part of his nature to turn around and see who wanted his attention, and it was too late before he realized that this had caused him to break the 'no contact with Ishida's male bedmate' pact he'd made inside his head. When he first saw the mussed pink hair, devious orange eyes, and white glasses, Szayel expected Renji to throw something. However, Renji merely sat there, staring at Szayel, an expression of incomprehension plastered all over his features. However, Szayel did nothing to change that. A confounded Renji was better than a furious one. Apparently, however, Szayel had let him stay like that for quite some time, because Ishida poked his head out the bathroom door, looking curiously when he saw that Renji hadn't moved an inch.

'What's he doing?' Ishida whispered.

'Staring.'

'Well, make him stop!'

'No, it's quite interesting. I think he can't wrap his mind around it. It's too much for his intellect. It's astonishing, really. Look at him!' Ishida crept out of the bathroom, making a wide circle around Renji and crouching next to Szayel, looking at Renji's features. He put a hand to his mouth.

'Oh, this is bad.'

'Why? I find it amusing.'

'You won't in a minute.' A minute went by, and then a few seconds later, Renji's brows furrowed in contemplation and he looked at Szayel and Ishida, still staring at Renji side by side. Renji narrowed his eyes at both of them.

'Renji, what do you want for breakfast?' Renji glowered.

'I'm going to Ichigo's house for breakfast. I'll be back on Tuesday.'

'Renji, it's Friday.'

'I know.' Ishida shrugged, watching as Renji softly fumed into his room, packed his essentials, which only included one extra change of clothes, and left without another word.

'Hmm…so what happens when he gets back?'

'He'll have brought Rukia, Ichigo, Ichigo's father, Ichigo's father's friend Urahara, and possibly his uncle Zaraki, but I severely hope not. Also, Rangiku will insist on coming, and so will Shuuhei, and since Shuuhei is going, his soccer coach Yumichika, who I suspect has a crush on Shuuhei, will follow.'

'Do they all fit?'

'Everyone except Zaraki.' Szayel nodded, trying to picture Renji's uncle, but had no luck. All he came up with was an older version of Renji, with stubble and bad hippie clothes. Szayel shrugged.

'You can stay here, if you want.' Szayel looked up. Ishida was looking at the floor.

'Hm. I accept that invitation. It'll be fun.' Uryuu looked up. Fun times.

* * *

On Tuesday, at approximately nine at night, Renji stormed into the flat, looking triumphant, and pulled a stoic figure in with him. He knocked lightly on Ishida's door. When nobody answered within ten seconds, Renji simply opened the door, to see Ishida reaching for the doorknob.

'Renji. I wondered when you'd show up.'

'Not now, homo. I brought someone.'

'How many "someones"?'

'Just one.' The older man stepped out of the shadows. He was dressed in a nice suit, and he looked unhappy with his surroundings. Ishida growled in frustration, and directed his hate towards Renji, who was grinning like a hyena.

'Renji, you are a real bastard sometimes.' The older man lit a cigarette and looked at Ishida expectantly.

'Do you care to tell me who Szayel Aporro Granz is, Uryuu?'

_A/N: Extra speshul points of my lurve to you if you know who this is. I think it's painfully clear, but I could recognize him anywhere, after all._

_For those of you who care, I get to dress up as Ishida for Halloween. I'm earning the money over the summer and I'm gonna buy the costume and the wig once I have enough. In other news, has anyone heard Szayel's songs for the Bleach Beat Collection? If you haven't, you can find them on YouTube, as well as his voice message (I dunno what it says, but dang, is it funny. He giggles, and then says something in a very gushy voice, kawaii!) My favorite song is Science Show, but Pink is a new favorite, even surpassing my old favorite, Aesthetics and Identity (Ishida singing in a really high voice is epic win), simply because it is called Pink._


	9. Chapter Eight

_A/N: Grrrrrr…last week sucked, because I had to get my German test back and then I had to take my state's yearly standardized test, all week, and I had my testing sessions in a classroom with, none of my friends, except for two._

_By the way, April 20th is Dark Lord Appreciation Day. This is where you get to pick an evil overlord from any series; note that it must be an overlord, some friends of mine were having trouble. Szayel, Ulquiorra, Kadaj, Mikami and Grimmjow are not overlords; Aizen, Sephiroth, Xemnas, Tykki, Kira-sama, Itachi (and any Akatsuki is accepted, being evil and such; yes, even Tobi), these are all overlords. I am celebrating Sephiroth (cuz he is hot), with two other friends. I have quite the variety. If you want to join in, it's fun. On that day, you act all evil. If you are unsure whether someone is a Dark Lord, here are some qualifications:_

_Does the main character dislike him/her?_

_Does he/she control lesser evil beings?_

_Does she/he have a retarded laugh?_

_Did he/she betray the good guys?_

_Does anyone refer to him/her as Lord X or X-Sama, or something?_

_Does he control other, less powerful evil lords?_

_If he/she meets more than three of these qualifications, you may consider them an evil lord. However, some cases, like Szayel, won't work. Yes, he has a retarded laugh, yes he controls lesser beings and his fraccion call him Szayelaporro-sama, but he doesn't count, because he works for Aizen. If he's below the first tier on the Ladder of Evil, he isn't a Dark LORD. That is all. I'm gonna make cookies on the 20th, and print off yaoi, in memory of that internet-friendly phrase 'Come to the dark side, we have ' I like yaoi, and I like cookies, and I like 'em together. So that's what I'm doing._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, by Tite Kubo. _

Ishida really wished Renji was dead. In all seriousness, he should probably be wishing Ryuuken dead, for being so damn condescending, but it was mostly Renji's fault.

'Ishida, you haven't answered my question.'

'I don't plan on doing so, either, Ryuuken,' he sneered at his silver-haired father, watching him go from not amused to bored _and_ not amused. Renji moved from his place as audience member to full-blown participant when he called out to Ryuuken,

'I told you, Szayel is his gay lover.'

'_Abarai_!'

'What, Ishida, it's _true_. He's your lover, and since he's a "he" and you're a "he" it makes you a homo.'

'I know what I am, Renji. Go off and play with Rukia.' Ryuuken interrupted their spat by clearing his throat and extuingishing his cigarette on their kitchen counter, tossing it carelessly into the sink.

'Ishida, where _is _Gay Scientist, anyway?'

'Sleeping.'

'It's nine at night,' Renji raised an eyebrow.

'He was tired.'

'From shagging, I assume,' Renji said in a determined manner, and Ryuuken's eyes widened at Renji's bluntness, a kind of stupidity he hadn't encountered since the last time he'd visited an old friend, who he wasn't going to mention; nevertheless, his eyes moved back into their default, disappointed with Ishida, and Ishida's friend. Suddenly there was a shift from Renji's bedroom, and Renji turned angrily towards Ishida, pointing to the bedroom; his mouth was open wide, and he resembled an angry monkey. He made uncomprehending sounds, his startled look mixing with flashes of rushed anger.

'Ishida! How could you let…why didn't you just…_what the hell is wrong with you_?!' Renji was fuming now, his back facing Ishida, but the occasional angry glare made sure that Ishida was not trying to sneak away while he wasn't looking.

'If you must know, Renji, Szayel has an essay due tomorrow, and I told him that we wouldn't go out to eat until he finished. He finished the assignment, but he was too tired to go anywhere, so we ordered tacos.'

'Bastard.' Ishida smirked, and Renji merely huffed.

Ryuuken, completely being ignored, slipped quietly into Renji's room, and seamlessly blended in with the darkness, stepping skillfully over the textbooks (Ishida hadn't lived with him for long, but he wasn't neat with his school books either) to the bed, looming over the sleeping form, pink hair framing his face. Ryuuken looked on the bedstand to find a pair of white glasses which he was sure did not belong to Renji Abarai, and back to the figure.

Ishida, glancing to where his father had been, noticed that he was now inspecting the area where Szayel was sleeping, and had previously been working. Normally Ishida had Szayel stay in his room, but because he knew that the essay was important, he banished him to Renji's to speed up his progress; needless to say, Szayel worked hard to finish the project and return to his companion. Ishida reached a hand out in vain, as if hoping to grab his father who was staring at Szayel apprasingly in a completely different room. Szayel, probably subconsciously aware that there was a lot of attention on him at the moment, something he really appreciated, and obviously wanted to be awake for, because he shifted slightly and groaned. Renji opened his mouth, and Ishida had a few guesses of what would come out of his mouth, so he slapped his hand over Renji's mouth and called,

'Ryuuken! Stop it!' Unfortunately, the noise made Szayel stir, he was a very light sleeper after all, and slowly awaken. He didn't trouble himself with yawning or stretching, it just wasn't useful, and opened his bright eyes to the reprimanding gaze of none other than Ryuuken Ishida. The sight startled him, to say the least. He sat up quickly, seeing a struggling Ishida being held back by Renji.

'Who are you?' Szayel raised an eyebrow. Ryuuken raised one in return.

'Ryuuken Ishida. You are Szayel Aporro Granz.' It wasn't a question. Szayel cleared his throat.

'Yes, I imagine you are Ishida's father?'

'So polite,' Renji sneered in the background. Ishida smacked him with a free hand.

'Yes, but you could say we're not on the best of terms. When my son came here, I thought Abarai was going to be his roommate…but I see you've taken his place? Is Renji unhappy with his living conditions?'

'Yes,' Renji snorted. Ishida shook his head.

'Ryuuken, stop it!'

'Ishida, I'm only talking to your _friend_. You always tell me I'm not a good father; when I try, you push me away. It's upsetting, your coldness towards me.' Ishida's eyes narrowed angrily.

'Oh, Ryuuken, go fu-'

'Uryuu!' Renji looked scandalized. In the three years they'd been living together, Renji had never heard him swear like that, or try to, at least. Ryuuken turned.

'Watch your expletives, Ishida. You always have needed to work on that.' Renji looked at Ishida questioningly.

'He never fails to get a rise out of me, and I, for one, am tired of it. Renji, let go of me, now, or I swear to God…' Renji let go, assuming nothing really bad could happen. Ishida rushed into the room, stepping between Ryuuken and Szayel, looking pissy and protective.

'You have no business here.'

'Ishida, what's the problem?' Ryuuken's eyes glimmered mockingly.

'You are. Leave,' he held his place firmly, looking much more territorial than usual. Szayel smiled from behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

'You could let me handle it,' he suggested. Ishida looked at him.

'He wasn't supposed to find out this way; I was going to graduate, settle down with a career and house, and then tell him. That way, I was standing on my own two feet. But he's paying for a lot of my education now…if he's upset—' Ishida cut himself off, looking at Szayel expectantly. Ishida wanted him to take his side. Frankly, Szayel thought maybe if Ishida was a little nicer, such a problem wouldn't occur, but from what he could see, relations between Ishida and Ryuuken were not your fantasy father-son relationship. Behind his stoic expression, Ishida could see a flicker of irritation surfacing. He hadn't known his father to display happiness, even when Ishida had told him he was moving out. He only ever saw anger, apathy, and sometimes sadness. He would have liked to say the loss of their mother was the cause of such sadness, but Ishida wasn't sure.

Szayel, on the other hand, was formulating a plan, as always. Ishida may not want him to interfere, that much was obvious. Ishida, however, did not have the power to restrtict him from doing just that. He moved inbetween Ishida and Ryuuken, sliding into the already compact space. His face was only inches from Ryuukens body. Although he was a little taller than Ishida, he was not nearly as tall as Ryuuken. He despised having to look up at anyone, no matter what, and it pained him to crane his neck upwards to meet the silver-haired man.

'Ishida is tired,' was all he said, hoping it would make up for the blunt rudeness.

'No, Ishida doesn't tire easily. Don't lie. Now, I'll ask you, Szayel Aporro: What is your relationship with my son?' Szayel opened his mouth to carefully evade the question, when in a rebellious manner, Ishida shouted,

'I love him!' Szayel felt the colour drain out of his face, his mouth going slack with surprise. Love. _Love._ It was a powerful word, one that Szayel hadn't ever used on another human being before. He wasn't upset because Ishida had yelled it so passionately in front of Ryuuken. He actually was proud of him for that. It was the fact that Szayel was unsure whether he loved Ishida back. He didn't feel any different around him than he did when they were friends; he didn't feel the telltale ache in his chest, and his thoughts revolved more around his work than the other man. It couldn't be love, right? His research told him it wasn't. Everything pointed to lust, rather than love. Ryuuken looked, curious and amused, to Szayel, who was staring off, confused and upset.

…_Love._

_A/N: and from here on out, this chapter and the next will be known as the 'shoujo rip-off chapters' because my cheesiness amuses me. Totally not beta-read, already late enough getting out as it is. _


	10. Chapter Nine

_A/N: Oh yes, Chapter Nine is part two of the sappy romantic saga. I'm not good at this kind of thing, so you'll have to bear with me._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, by Tite Kubo_

Szayel felt a dull ache in his chest as Ryuuken stared down at him. He blinked, trying to rid his face of that stupid, bewildered expression. He finally looked down. He thought that maybe Ryuuken assumed he was crying, and scoffed at that. Crying was below him, and it had been for the last eleven years of his life. He sighed and looked at Ryuuken, determination in his eyes.

'You should leave,' he stated in a flat tone. Renji raised his inked eyebrows and made his mouth into an 'O' shape.

'Woo, he looks pissed. I'm gonna stay with Shuu, Uryuu, until everything smoothes over and he leaves,' he inched his way slowly out the door. Ishida didn't like hearing that; Shuuhei was probably Renji's worst influence, besides Rangiku. The two were perverted, drunk and didn't go to class. Renji already skipped math half the time and made obscene jokes at dinner. This was not something he needed at his point in life. Ishida was looking at Szayel in bewilderment, wondering why he didn't say anything to back him up.

Love. Szayel repeated the word repeatedly in his mind, hearing Ishida's voice ringing out. Ishida would be wondering why Szayel didn't say anything... why Szayel just stared at the ground and thought of what his next move was going to be. He felt weak and numb. Then an idea came into his head. This would be easier than saying it outright, he decided, and poured all of his energy into turning sharply, back to Ryuuken, and planting a loving kiss on Ishida's surprised lips. Szayel was not fond of public displays of affection, but Ishida did not feel awkwardness in the kiss. Szayel felt Ishida wrap his arms around his waist and Szayel let them stay there as he nibbled Ishida's bottom lip. When he heard and felt Ishida let out a soft groaned, Szayel pulled away. Ryuuken stood there, his eyes betraying his facial expression. Anger and confusion made them glimmer as he cleared his throat. A blush spread across the dark-haired man's face when he looked at his father. Szayel stared indignantly, wondering why he suddenly had all this courage; he hadn't solved the problem, he had no reason to feel victorious. Ishida looked happy enough with his response, if only a little bewildered. Szayel liked explaining things, so a nonverbal response was rare.

'I see,' Ryuuken straightened his already straight tie.

'I'm glad,' Ishida snapped, grabbing Szayel's arm protectively. For such an unemotional barrier that he puts up, Ishida really liked having something to hold when he was upset, especially with his father. When he was little, he could play with his mother's old jewelry when Ryuuken snapped at him; she always had a silver pendant, it was a pentacle, with blue trim on a silver chain. He would relax at the smooth, metallic feel of it.

'Ishida…' Ryuuken glanced at his son as he made his way to the door.

'What do you want?' Ishida spat, glowering, 'You have your explanation.'

'Don't do anything stupid. Don't rush this twisted deformity you call romance, not that I care. It's unnatural, to be sure, but I am concerned for your welfare; I'm not heartless.' Ishida snorted. Ryuuken turned away again, still noting Szayel's confused expression as he exited the room swiftly, with a quiet grace.

'S-Szayel?' Szayel turned to a very upset Ishida.

'Yes?'

'You do love me…right?' Here it was. Szayel could lie. He could say yes, and Ishida would be happy. It was only words. However, they weren't just words to him. He didn't want to lie to Ishida about love. A confession he'd declared in front of his slightly homophobic roommate and his father, who acted as if he had a stick up his ass.

'Y-Yes. I do, Ishida,' Szayel said, aware of how stupidly pitiful his voice sounded.

'You do what?'

'I…I love you too,' he stated, trying to put as much emotion as possible into the words. They left a bitter, upset feeling in his mouth. Love didn't seem like an emotion that should do that. Ishida smiled, though. Such a happy smile, like he probably smiled when he was younger. It was genuine. Szayel wanted him to smile like that all the time. He caressed the other man's lower lip, putting his free hand on Ishida's back, pushing him towards Szayel.

'Ishida…' He locked his sultry golden eyes with curious dark ones.

'Yes, Szayel?'

'I finished that essay.' Ishida grinned up at the pink-haired man, wrapping his arms around his neck and connecting his lips with Szayel's with what Szayel imagined was love.

* * *

Szayel got bored quickly. He got bored with test subjects, he got bored with school, and he got bored with people. He didn't expect to be bored with Ishida, though. It wasn't a maddening boredom, but he knew it was there. In the back of his mind, he was bored with playing their games; he was bored with lying every night, when Ishida would collapse next to him and ask, "Do you love me?" and every time, without fail, Szayel would say yes, and he would not mean it. If only he loved Ishida. Surely, that would cure the boredom. But he knew he wasn't. If he was in love, he would dread the moments apart, and die on the inside when Ilforte lowered their relationship to questions such as "Would you like to borrow the leash?" on the phone. He was tired of coming home at a certain time and seeing Ishida cooking dinner, like a fucking housewife, and greet him cheerily. He was tired of his graceful touch, ghosting over his pale skin like it was fragile, while Szayel did no such thing, pounding the poor boy into the mattress every night, getting a rush of pleasure for every scream and drop of blood. Szayel wanted something new. So that's why he was glad when spring break came. Not that he enjoyed the prospect of Ilforte and whatever new flame he'd picked up on the way forcefully dragging him away to his condo of raging homosexuality to spend the time, but he wanted a change of scenery.

This is why he was currently waiting outside in the rain, without an umbrella, for Ilforte to pick him up. Ilforte, however, didn't get off work for another hour. So why was Szayel standing in the pouring rain?

Ishida had gone through the regular routine with Szayel; there wasn't much to do, since they didn't have any work to do, and if Ilforte was picking him up at four, Ishida didn't need to start dinner. They were keeping to themselves, Szayel reading a book and Ishida sewing something for Inoue. Until Ishida looked at Szayel, curled in a chair, and asked him,

'Since it's raining, do you wanna do something different for Spring Break?' Szayel froze.

'Ilforte is picking me up,' he muttered.

'Well, yes, I know. But isn't he a bit of an outdoors kind of person?'

'Usually I just stay at home when he goes out, unless it's to the bookstore, or the mall. Otherwise, I just sit at home and listen to him and whats-his-face.'

'You don't know his boyfriend's name?'

'I haven't met him. He's new every time. He's been going strong with some submissive Tesla kid, but I'm not sure,' he said with an offhanded wave of his wrist.

'Oh. Do you want to do anything with me and Kurosaki?'

'No,' Szayel chirped.

'Why not?'

'I want to see Ilforte.' Ishida made a noise that resembled disbelief.

'I don't hate him, I just don't like it when he bursts into my living area, or calls me in the middle of sex, you know that.' Ishida blushed.

'To tell you the truth, Ishida, I would like to get away for a while. To myself.'

'Well, we could just rent a hotel…I know Ryuuken's PIN,' he offered.

'N-no. Just me. Alone, with whats-his-face and Ilforte shagging next door.' Ishida grunted.

'I thought you liked spending time with me,' he replied, frustrated.

'I do. But I need alone time.' Szayel noted that he was always especially womanly when he sewed.

'Okay, then I'll help you pack now.'

'Ishida? Ilforte comes at four…it's three.'

'Yeah, but I know how much you like alone time.'

And that is how Szayel Aporro Granz got around to standing in the rain, without an umbrella, and with a pissed boyfriend on the campus somewhere. He looked at his watch. 3:15. Only forty-five more minutes, not including how late Ilforte would be. He sighed and wiped his glasses clean for the fourth time in fifteen minutes, trying to distract himself.

_A/N: Ooh, I made Ishida a PMS-ing freak. Also, yes, I did imply Ilforte/Tesla. I'm going to get shot in my sleep XD_


	11. Chapter Ten

_A/N: If you want to know what Szayel did for forty-five minutes in the rain, you are out of luck, because I have no clue. I'm sure he owns some kind of puzzle that he carries around for such an occasion. Moar Ilforte, which is nice for me. I love writing him in and yes, do not fear, there WILL be Ilforte/Tesla. I know some of you were terribly disappointed, but now you don't have to worry! The crack pairings continue XD_

For as long as Szayel could remember, Ilforte's house smelled like pumpkin. Well, Szayel had only moved in with him when he started high school, so who knows what the place smelled like before then. It wasn't a pleasant, mild hint of pumpkin either. Every room reeked of the smell, especially the bedroom. That is probably why Szayel put off asking until his senior year, only three months before he graduated. When Szayel finally asked him, Ilforte merely smiled and launched into a huge story about how the smell of pumpkin arouses men and all sorts of other things he didn't want to know. He would have been traumatized if Ilforte hadn't moved into The Business, as Szayel preferred to call it in polite company.

So when he had braced himself to experience a wave of pumpkin-esque delight emanating from Ilforte's beautiful home, he was surprised to find that overbearing pumpkin had been replaced with a light peppermint scent. It was refreshing, and Szayel liked it a lot more. He suspected it was not Ilforte's doing, but that of his new boyfriend. Their parents, if they had known what Szayel and Ilforte had made of their lives, would probably be in parent-hell at the notion that their only sons were homosexual. Szayel had only brought his necessities, which was still a lot for only one week, and inhaled again, a happy man. Until he heard the ungodly screeching that could be defined as Ilforte's voice. He dropped his bags, sensing a collision with the tan blonde. When he felt long arms wrap around his waist and topple him over, he merely sighed and tried not to land on his head.

'Brother! You made it!' Ilforte was helping Szayel up at this point, taking his bags and smiling.

'Where's Ishida?'

'It's just me,' Szayel replied a little too coldly. Ilforte frowned and wagged his finger in Szayel's face.

'Now, what happened to the lovebirds that I dropped in on a few months ago? You will be calling him, and apologizing for whatever stupid thing you've done in a few days. Let him have time to settle.' Szayel nodded, not paying attention.

'Where should I put my bags?'

'In your old room, of course! Although, I might've changed it around a little. It still has a bed and everything you need,' he assured Szayel, taking his suitcase and flitting up the stairs. Szayel was halfway up the aforementioned stairs when he heard Ilforte talking to someone. Szayel rolled his eyes, expecting the other person dressed in something that should be hidden from virginal eyes. He was surprised when he saw a dirty blond figure, not too tall and on the skinny side. Ilforte noticed his pink-haired sibling and brightened up, turning to the other man.

'Szayel, come meet Tesla!' Szayel, for once, was interested in meeting one of Ilforte's men. His sandy hair was tousled, and his features were actually very boyish if it wasn't for the eyepatch adorning his left eye. He smiled at Szayel without showing his teeth, which made him look timid.

'Hello,' he said, holding his hand out. It was a simple greeting, something Szayel wasn't expecting. He shook the extended hand, looking at the beaming Ilforte.

'Szayel, do you want tea?'

'No, I'm going to read.'

'You always read! Don't mope about in your room because you hit a rough patch with Ishida-kun.'

'I did not hit a rough patch! I just wanted to be away, alone, for a while.'

'Without him.'

'Traditionally, that would mean alone, brother,' Szayel snapped, crossing his arms across his chest. He felt terrible about the whole thing, but he did not want Ilforte's help, if you could call it help.

'Hmph. That's it. This is worse than I thought! I'm going to get you something.'

'If it happens to be a co-worker, Ishida, an ex-boyfriend or some man you found on the street in a dress, I will leave and stay in a hotel.'

'You are no fun, Szayel,' Ilforte pouted, grabbing his car keys, 'if you don't want your beloved, I'll just get you something to drown your sorrows in: chocolate.'

'You're like the sister I never had, Ilforte, thank you. Now leave,' Szayel huffed, pushing Ilforte out the door. Ilforte grabbed Tesla's arm before he could shut the door. It occurred to our pink-haired hero that he was alone in the luxurious, peppermint-scented house. The wood felt cool and relaxing under his feet as he stepped into his room to grab a book and his cell phone. He didn't expect a call, since Ishida was still pissed at him, but habits are hard to break. On Fridays, Ishida usually called to say he wouldn't be home for another hour because of the crafts club he was currently joined in.

'I miss Ishida,' Szayel mused aloud, feeling an unknown, itchy feeling in his chest. It was unpleasant, and he wanted to see Ishida. However, after what Szayel had said, and how their relationship had been going, he didn't want to move back into his old pattern. After a week, if he still felt this alone, he would go back. Otherwise, he could move back into his old room, and ignore Ishida during chemistry. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a demanding knock on the door. Szayel set his book on the table, listening. It was still pouring outside, and he knew firsthand that it was a cold, hard rain. Ilforte had a key, so it wasn't him. Szayel swaggered to the door, expecting it to be a cold salesperson, trying to get him to convert to their religion or buy a vacuum. Either way, the answer was no. He opened the door, excuse already formulated in his mind, to find a very angry Ishida staring him in the face, soaking wet, and holding a suitcase.

'Ishida?'

'Alone time is over,' he said evenly before pressing his lips against Szayel's, ignoring Szayel's tensed body and uncertain movements. He tilted Szayel's chin up and glowered.

'Aren't you going to let me in?' Szayel opened his mouth, but Ishida just smirked and used the unusually quiet response to move his way into the house. Szayel swallowed, taking Ishida's suitcase. The dark-haired man raised an eyebrow.

'Ishida…'

'What?' He looked into amber eyes expectantly.

'You're sexy when you're mad.'

_A/N: Yay!! You know I couldn't keep them separated. We'll see why Ishida came over in the next chapter, as well as my second attempt at moar mansmex. This chapter was short, but it's filler anyway, so I think it's okay. _


	12. Chapter Eleven

_A/N: Warning! Bad, cheesy romance. Oh, yeah, and sex. Which is also bad, and cheesy, in my opinion. :P_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, by Tite Kubo._

Ishida paused, considering his options. It was obviously an attempt on Szayel's part to flatter him calm again. Under this assumption, Ishida did what anyone would do: he slapped Szayel. Szayel blinked, pondering the reaction with bewilderment flashing through his eyes.

'Wh-What are you doing, Ishida?' Ishida growled, balling his fists.

'I love you Szayel!' Szayel nodded in agreement. Ishida said it a lot.

'You don't get it. I love you. But you…'

'Shit, Ishida,' Szayel mumbled, trying to take Ishida in his arms. Ishida tensed up.

'You don't. You don't love me.' Szayel bit his lip.

'Well, I don't…I just don't know. I know I love many things about you…but whether I love you,…I'm not sure. I apologise, Ishida,' he caressed Ishida's cheek. Ishida pulled away.

'That's a cheap answer. I just – I just want you to love me. As much as I love you. I can't bear being away from you,' He turned away from Szayel, sighing.

'You know I want – '

'No, I don't! I don't know if you want to love me. You don't look conflicted at all. It makes me…makes me sick, Szayel,' Szayel let out an angry breath and swallowed. Words weren't working; Szayel had to move to the next step. He shortened the distance between them, so they were only a few centimeters apart. Ishida tried to move away, but Szayel pulled him into a mind-blowing kiss. It made Ishida sigh and soften, melting in that kiss. Ishida felt Szayel nibble tenderly at his lip, stroking his sides and bringing an arm up to pull Ishida closer to his own body; heat radiated off the other man, and Ishida lightly wrapped his fingers through that silky pink hair that he was so fond of. He pulled his white-rimmed glasses off and throwing them on the table, making quick work of his own. Szayel loosened Ishida's tie, fingering the black silk before tugging it off his neck. The sensations were familiar; the caresses weren't unknown to either men. However, there was something completely new to them about this. It didn't feel the same.

To Ishida, the bond he'd felt before was gone, in it's place he felt mistrust, like Szayel was a one-night stand. It felt terrible, but exotic. He wanted more, and he intended to get it as he licked at the crook of Szayel's neck like a cat. Szayel felt completely different. He had felt guilty in the past, and all the feelings were hollow. He felt guiltless now, because Ishida knew. And as long as Ishida knew, he wouldn't feel anything but pleasure. And what pleasure it was. Ishida unbuttoned Szayel's shirt quickly, tossing it on a nearby table. Ishida's tongue worked its way to Szayel's nipples, teasing and sucking with his warm, hot mouth. Szayel groaned, moving Ishida down to the floor, where he could flip the raven-haired man over and assault his shirt, unbuttoning it with his mouth and licking a trail as he loosened each button. Ishida's face was flushed and contorted as Szayel ran his hands across Ishida's pale body, the lithe form writhing underneath his touch. Szayel's hands snaked their way down to Ishida's pants, toying with the zipper. Ishida groaned in frustration, pushing his hips up to meet Szayel's hand. In response, the pink-haired man smirked and pulled the zipper down, grabbing the other man's hardened member, eliciting a mewl of delight from Ishida, who threw his head back helplessly as Szayel played a delightful game with his body.

Szayel felt his own erection straining painfully against his jeans but made no move to do anything about it as he wrapped his hand around Ishida's manhood, growing harder when Ishida moaned huskily at the sensation. Szayel growled his response, pumping his hand to add friction that made Ishida lose all control, whimpering incoherently as Szayel tortured his senses. After a few more meaningful thrusts, Szayel removed his hand and reached under the couch cushion. Over the years, Szayel had found countless tubes of unmarked lotions and gels that he had immediately dropped. God knows where it had been, after all. He'd never dreamed that he'd need to use one of them now, and surely, there was a small tube under the cushion. He looked at his curiously, because it was warming lotion, and wondered why you would need it warmed, when he heard Ishida let out a high-pitched whine.

'Please, Szayel. I need you inside me _now_.' Szayel grinned and moved back to where Ishida was, sprawled wantonly across the floor, looking like desire personified in a human body.

'You little whore,' Szayel whispered in his ear as he pulled Ishida up into his lap, tugging roughly at his hair; his response was another deep moan as Ishida felt Szayel's hardness against his thigh. Szayel brushed his hand against Ishida's entrance teasingly, sending shivers down Ishida's spine.

'Ahh…Szayel. Do it,'

'Beg for it, slut,' Szayel sneered, taking sick satisfaction in the neediness of his lover.

'Szayel, please!'

'Much better,' he said, and pushed a finger inside the dark-haired man. He gripped Szayel's shoulders tightly, making scratch marks across Szayel's fair skin.

'Ah…I still can't believe you're tight, you fucker,' Szayel groaned, pushing another finger inside Ishida's body. Ishida looked at Szayel, his eyes dark and craving more from the other student. Szayel saw this clearly and extracted his fingers, making Ishida fidget a little. Szayel moved Ishida to a different spot on his lap and looked up at him.

'Just fuck me already, Szayel,' he growled angrily, trying to push himself down on Szayel's manhood, but the pink-haired man's hands grasped his hips firmly and held him in place.

'God you're a bitch when you want to be,' Szayel said in a raspy voice. Really, this was affecting him just as much, if the way his amber eyes smoldered with desire had anything to say about the matter. Ishida swallowed as he tried again to work Szayel's cock in his own body, but it was to no avail. He would have to play Szayel's game.

'Szay-Szayel…I need this just as much as you…'

'Who do you belong to, Ishida?'

'Wh-What?'

'You're painfully hard and needy as a bitch in heat, now answer my damned question before I leave you like this,' he snapped, lips curled into a feral grin.

'…You,' he replied softly.

'I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you, _who_ do _you _belong to?'

'You, Szayel! I belong to _you_, now fuck me so hard I can't walk! Now!'

'Such a demanding whore. If you wish,' he said, and pushed violently into the other man. Ishida let out a sharp cry at the initial penetration, but soon warmed up, panting and whimpering as Szayel set a steady pace, thrusting evenly and watching Ishida's face.

'Touch yourself,' Szayel ordered hoarsely, hands still clutched onto Ishida's hips. Ishida nodded, his hand snaking to his ignored member, stroking the head gently and sighing in content. He began pumping in time to Szayel's thrusts, making his moans louder and deeper than before.

'Ohh, Szayel, I'm gonna cum soon,' he cried, feeling his release. Szayel beamed wildly.

'When you cum, shout my name, tell me you're mine.' Ishida nodded shortly. Szayel thrust faster and harder into Ishida as he felt his release coming too, desperate and wanting. He felt Ishida's muscled contract around his cock when he came, warm liquid coating Ishida's hand and both men's stomachs.

'Ah! Szayel! Yes!' Szayel came soon after, his seed filling Ishida hotly, making him sigh. Szayel let out a rough cry as he came, his own sounds mixing with Ishida's. Szayel vaguely wondered how loud they were to anyone outside. Ishida collapsed against Szayel in exhaustion, head buried in Szayel's neck. He made a content noise and felt like sleeping. Szayel nudged him off, though.

'Ilforte and Tesla will be home soon, if they weren't listening at the door.' Ishida groaned but nodded, getting off Szayel unhappily and pulling his boxers on sluggishly, wincing at the pain in his ass. Szayel found his shirt and buttoned it languidly. When Ishida had dressed and gone into the kitchen to make dinner, Szayel watched him go guiltily, sighing.

'Ishida,' he said softly, looking at his lover's back. He asked himself, for what seemed like the millionth time, do I love you? Ishida meant a lot to Szayel. He was his first friend in a long time, and his first lover. Ishida made him smile, and made his world go around. He hung the moon in the sky for Szayel, and made the sun rise in the morning. The only problem was, He recognised how lucky he was, how amazing he felt around him, how much he lo-…liked him, and it made him so upset inside when he couldn't openly say, "Ishida Uryuu…I love you." But how he wanted to.

_A/N: Oh mah God, you do not know how sorry I am that this took so long. Major, major writer's block. If this is bad, please tell me. I seriously poured all my muse-energy in this. Gawd, I'm tired. I have totally deserved the Doctor Who I'm about to watch XD_


	13. Chapter Twelve

_A/N: This chapter is about Renji. Very fun, and easy to write, after the last chapter, which sucked all the life out of me. For those of you who also read A Sleeping Valentine, I'm gonna update it too, and I meant to get the next chapter out sooner, but I went on vacation. Sorry, readers. I meant to write some stuff down, but I forgot a notebook. Also, see if you can find the mild crossover in here. If you know the manga/anime, then it's not hard, but I couldn't resist XD_

Renji was settled in quite nicely at Shuuhei's apartment. Of course, it wasn't just Shuuhei, Rangiku was there also. The interesting thing about being around Rangiku was he wasn't overly affected by her womanly charm. It made him wonder, since everyone else melted upon sight, but it just blew over Renji's head. Probably for the best. Shuuhei would kill him if he tried anything. It had been a week since he'd left Ishida and Ishida's…dare he say it? Boyfriend. After calling Ryuuken to the scene of the crime, things became a bit too sticky and girly and emotional; he packed his things and left for his long-time friend, Shuuhei Hisagi, and Shuuhei's gorgeous cousin Rangiku, who only let her boyfriend Gin (who was older and knew Ishida's chemistry teacher) call her Ran. Renji was supposed to call him Ichimaru, but he was such a weird, weird guy, Renji had decided to call him Gin. He didn't like Gin (at all) so he refused to address him formally. Renji logic was unmatched.

Currently, said Renji was sitting on the blue couch in the very middle of the living room, watching TV, drinking soda and wishing he wasn't too lazy to get up and get some pretzels. Shuuhei and Rangiku were playing with Shuuhei's Wii in his room. Or, at least they were, until they decided to play their other favorite game: Sit Near Renji and Bother Him. A popular choice in the household, unfortunately. He heard them come in before he actually saw them attack the empty spaces on the couch.

'Reeeenji,' Rangiku cooed, putting an arm around his neck, and putting her head on his shoulder, looking terribly innocent for someone who wasn't innocent in the least. Shuuhei sat down on the other side, grinning and jingling his car keys.

'Where are you going?' Renji looked at the keys, and then back at the expectant-looking Rangiku. He smirked.

'No. If you thought it would take both of you to convince me to come, I'm not coming,' Renji shook his head, thrashing his unruly red hair about. It was usually in a ponytail, but he didn't feel like messing with it today. Rangiku and Shuuhei reeled from the faceful of crimson hair being whipped about.

'But I want to see a friend,' Shuuhei whined.

'Who?'

'He's really nice,' Rangiku added, 'and although may seem kinda emo, he has his moments.'

'He drinks, doesn't he?' Renji had become acquainted with Rangiku's friends enough to know most of them shared a common interest: alcohol. He wasn't too sure how Rangiku didn't have an eternal hangover, but these were the mysteries of Shuuhei's relatives; Renji tried not to question them.

'No…I mean, he does, but not like some people,' Shuuhei explained, looking at Rangiku.

'Hey!'

'I didn't say anything,' he said nonchalantly, shrugging. Renji sighed.

'I'll go. But Shuuhei, if we get something to eat, you're paying for mine.'

'Why don't we ever make Rangiku pay, Renji?'

'Because we both know if we asked her, she wouldn't.' Shuuhei and Renji laughed. Rangiku stuck her tongue out and crossed her arms.

Surprisingly enough, the establishment in which Shuuhei's friend worked was shockingly clean, pleasant and smelled like coffee. This, of course, makes sense considering they were in a coffee shop. Shuuhei strolled breezily to the counter, followed by Rangiku, who had a not-really-meaning to be seductive saunter worked up, and Renji just walked.

'Hellooo,' Shuuhei drawled to the sales clerk. She blinked uncaringly at him with large, brown eyes; she had short, dark brown hair tucked behind her ears.

'Where's Izuru Kira?' Shuuhei leaned across the counter. She turned away and yelled, 'Izuuuru! There's a man with a sixty-nine on his face here to see you!' She turned back to Shuuhei.

'He'll be with you shortly.' True to her word, after a few seconds a blond man with a large portion of his hair hanging in his eyes came out from behind a staff-only door. His eyes, or eye, was a blue colour, but covered by his heavy eyelid. He looked unhappy with life, in Renji's opinion. He didn't really need Johnny Razorblades around, but Shuuhei was friends with him, so he was obliged.

'Haruhi, you could have just gotten me, there's no need to shout,' he said flatly, using the same tone as Haruhi. What a pair they made.

'I'm trying to leave early to avoid--'

'Haruhiiii!' Haruhi sighed, putting on an even more emotionless expression, if that was possible. Izuru escorted the trio to a table quickly; Only Renji saw the exuberant blond man jump over the counter to hug Haruhi.

'So, Izuru, how've you been?' Rangiku rested her chin in her hands, staring at Izuru with curiosity.

'Fine. How's Ichimaru-san?'

'You always ask. Gin's fine, he's made a new friend. A girly boy, but I forget his name. He has a pet octopus. How weird is _that_?'

'Very weird, Matsumoto,' Izuru said with a warm smile. They were right. He wasn't as scary as Renji had originally thought.

'Where are my manners! Renji, this is Izuru. Izuru, this is Renji. He's staying with us, because Shuuhei can't say no to a cute redhead,' Rangiku said with a wink. Izuru blushed slightly at the joke. Shuuhei was being oddly quiet, though. Renji looked at him. He grinned.

'Hey, isn't he one of your teachers?' Shuuhei pointed conspicuously at Ishida's physics teacher, Byakuya Kuchiki, and his friend Rukia's older brother.

'Yeah, but he's not my teacher. He's Uryuu's.'

'Is that the gay one?' Renji sighed. That was true, but bluntness was not appreciated.

'Yes. But Kuchiki-san is also Rukia's brother, not just a teacher.'

'Then let's invite him over here,' Rangiku said devilishly, 'he's awfully cute for a stuffy physics professor.' Renji groaned. It wasn't that he didn't like Byakuya, but he always acted like there was a stick up his ass, and it made it hard to talk to him about anything. Uryuu acted like that too, except that behavior stopped when Uryuu met…him. In the middle of his deep, ponderous thoughts, Renji failed to notice that Rangiku had already dragged Byakuya to their table and was babbling on.

'Oh! Hello Kuchiki-san, we aren't bothering you, are we?' Renji internally kicked something. He sounded like a suck-up.

'Good afternoon, Abarai. I see you've stopped working with Ishida. It's a shame, he was a much better influence,' he said offhandedly. Renji couldn't blame him for thinking this, though. Rangiku was basically going topless she was exposing so much of her breasts, Shuuhei had a sex position, along with many other markings, tattooed on his face (he claimed it had meaning from his childhood. Nobody ever believed him) and Izuru looked as if he was going to slit his wrists at any moment. Of course Ishida looked better than his friends, he was a star pupil who carried around textbooks and wore glasses. _Glasses_, damnit.

'Well…would you like anything to drink?' Shuuhei pointed invitingly to the counter, where another girl was working. God knows what happened to Haruhi, if that blond freak was involved.

'No thank you.' Shuuhei sighed. Renji slumped his shoulders. He could feel Byakuya's icy gaze on him, as hard as he tried to avoid it.

'Yes, Kuchiki-san?'

'You're a bright young man, Renji. Maybe I should tutor you. You have potential.' Shuuhei and Rangiku both looked at Renji appraisingly, who could only imagine the horrors of spending periods of time alone with Byakuya Kuchiki.

But…how could he say no?

_A/N: That's actually a cliffhanger, because we're returning to Szayel and Ishida in the next chapter. So…if you enjoy the Renji bit, you'll have to wait another chapter._


	14. Chapter Thirteen

_A/N: Oh, this is fun! Fun, fun, fun :3 I like writing Ilforte. He's my favorite character in this series. On another note, does anyone have an idea about Renji? Renji will be pushed into a yaoi pairing, poor him, but will it be with Izuru or Byakuya? I have more material for Byakuya, because Renji used to have a crush on Rukia in the earlier bits, so that could be fun psychologically, and maybe have a 'oh noes, Rukia just walked in on her brother and her friend. Goodness!' thing._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, by Tite Kubo._

Ilforte was a morning person. He wasn't always, mind you, but lately, he'd been finding the mornings more and more enjoyable. Ever since he discovered Ishida had taken up residence in the household, he felt like it was his responsibility to take care of Szayel and his prince Charming, which made him feel loved and motherly. Thus, the morning was a good time for Ilforte, because he could make breakfast and flitter around the house before Ishida and Szayel woke up. He felt ecstatic waking up in the morning, wiggling out of Tesla's grasp and throwing on a robe to perform his duties. He would often hum a merry tune. It was the best spring break ever.

Szayel wished Ilforte would just go back to bed and wake up again like the rest of the world, groggy and irritable. But no, he couldn't even be that normal anymore. He had to go the extra mile for faggotry and make breakfast, do the laundry, and sing while he put his soft blond hair into a loose bun. The only thing Szayel could be thankful for was the lack of a frilly apron, but you never know with his older brother. Tesla seemed uncaring about it; Szayel figured as long as Ilforte was feeding Tesla and not donning ridiculous outfits around the house, it was good with him. After all, the ridiculous outfits were saved for Thursday nights. Szayel had become all-too-familiar with Ilforte's weekly routine from his high school years. At least Ilforte wasn't a terrible cook. He could make breakfast. Granted, that was about it. Ishida usually made any meals Ilforte didn't want to make, or buy. It wasn't too embarrassing for a spring break, until Ishida and Szayel happened to be reading, or in Ishida's case, reading and sewing, when Ilforte…came home from work.

Szayel had immediately tensed when he heard the door unlock, but made no move to leave the room, only expecting his brother to have an armful of groceries or something. No, Ilforte wasn't holding groceries. But he was holding his shirt, shoes, and a pair of baggy pants he wore out. Now, in their place, was a catastrophe of an outfit that could be described in words like 'tight', 'leather', 'lacking subtlety', and if you weren't one of Ilforte's customers, 'disturbing'. Szayel, on subconscious instinct, glued his eyes to Ilforte's face, where there was a smaller chance to see something unsettling. Ishida tried to evaluate the situation with as much grace and nonchalance possible. Failing miserably, he felt his face turn red as Ilforte stood in the doorway, not sure what to do. Sensing something amiss, Tesla came downstairs and sighed.

'Ilforte…' Ilforte turned to Tesla, trying to explain.

'Come on,' Tesla said, ushering Ilforte to the bedroom. After a few moments, Szayel and Ishida realized that they were alone again, and relaxed.

'Ishida, I apologi—'

'Er…It's not your fault.'

'No. It's not, you're right.'

'We should thank Tesla,' Ishida concluded.

'Later, we should thank Tesla. Now… now would be a bad time.'

'Wh-Why?'

'Someone needed to get Ilforte out of his work attire, and I think Tesla just assigned himself to the task.' Ishida blinked.

After that particular incident, Ishida no longer doubted Szayel's reasoning involving the household. Reasons why they shouldn't go into the basement, why they shouldn't study in the kitchen, or why they shouldn't leave books out were never needed. Somehow, Ishida just trusted Szayel. But he was still irked about Szayel's lack of commitment. He'd let it slide for a while, thinking maybe he just needed time to sort out his feelings, but nothing had been said in the direction of 'I love you', which worried Ishida. He didn't think Szayel was using him, but he wasn't sure he was thinking about their relationship in the same way as Ishida was. Ishida had been trying to read his signals since Szayel had let him stay, but he only picked up on a feeling of tenseness during one evening when Ilforte made them all watch 'The Notebook'. He was ever so thankful Szayel kept his homosexuality under control, despite his pink hair.

However, Szayel was experiencing far more turmoil than the role of calculating observer, which was usually his favourite place to be in any situation. Still struggling with his feelings, he was beginning to see perks in just telling Ishida he loved him. Perhaps, by saying something, his feelings would respond accordingly and all would be fine. It wasn't likely, but cunning had always been a strong suit of his, so Szayel was accustomed to lying. He thought about it again, and decided to set up something nice and romantic and not at home, as far away from Ilforte as possible. He would tell him then.

As far as Ishida was concerned, Szayel had acted normally for the past three days. When he went to sleep, however, Szayel was making reservations and looking at different types of flowers (granted, that was mixing business with his curious pleasure, considering the unimportance of flowers overall) and planning a quiet dinner. Alone. Ishida would love it, and of course, Szayel enjoyed the planning process. He had a flair for such things, after all.

_A/N: You don't know how much I want to apologise. How many readers have I lost? TONS, I SUPPOSE. Ah, well, my apologies again. Also for such a crappy filler piece. I MUST WORK HARDER._

_For now…can I blame the lack of Szayelness in the anime recently? All that filler wears heavy on the writing soul._

_…debating writing some crazyass IlfortexTesla smut stuff as filler next time. I want to exercise my lemon-wiring abilities._


End file.
